My bad mood has only partially faded from last week, so I decided to write another mean-spirited commentary. I've been watching a lot of late night TV lately, and I've also had the chance to read a few books, and there's a disturbing trend that I'm starting to notice...
Most of the men in the entertainment industry are whining, sniveling sissies. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly an alpha-male myself. Hell, I cried at the end of American Beauty. But the fact of the matter is, the level of femininity that some of these celebrities exhibit - it's just plain inexcusable.
Take Bill Maher, the host of ABC's Politically Incorrect, for example. To an uninformed outsider, some of his actions might seem like those of a real man - he sleeps with dozens of different women, he makes homophobic remarks, and he calls female guests on his show names like "honey" and "beautiful." But when you strip away the facade of manliness, Bill Maher is actually fairly "pussified." He hates hunting and regularly takes cheap shots at people who enjoy it, he sits with his legs crossed, and he poses shirtless for magazines. What kind of a man does shit like that?
Another good example is Al Franken, a comedian who made a name for himself on Saturday Night Live. Nothing about Franken seems even remotely masculine. This guy has become Stuart Smalley, his sexually-repressed character from SNL. Plus, he has his nose so far up Al Gore's ass, he could probably tell you the color of Tipper's strap-on. It's one thing to support a political candidate, but guys like Franken and Rob Reiner take it beyond Democratic loyalty and into the realm of homosexual love affair. Anytime a man loves another man that much, whether it's because of his political views or not, you sort of have to wonder about him.
Speaking of Al Gore, he has to be the king of the sissies. Remember the kid in school who would always call for a do-over in dodge ball? That was Al Gore. Along with his paper-maché faced sidekick, Joe Lieberman, Gore has managed to piss on the entire concept of democracy, exposing himself as a hypocritical pussy in the process. I listened to Gore's speech last week, when he cried and whined about making sure that "every vote counted" in this election, but isn't he the same guy who eliminated the military's vote? What a pansy-assed crybaby.
The boys from NSync also come across as pussies. What kind of a real man sings about blue skies and true love? If those idiots had penises, they'd be singing songs that the average man can relate to - songs about cheap whiskey, unfaithful broads, and bar fights! Plus, it's pretty stupid how Justin Timberlake is so hush-hush about his romance with Britney Spears. Any real man would be proud to be going out with that piece of ass, but Justin listens to his agents who think it would hurt NSync's popularity if he admitted to having a girlfriend. You know what I call people who let their agents control their social lives? Yup, you guessed it - pussies.
If I had more time, I'm sure I could list dozens of other celebrities who act like pussies, but I need to cut this article short. I'm going to go take a bubble bath... what, that doesn't sound very manly to you? Well, at least I don't sit with my legs crossed.
