I've been having a hard time getting to sleep lately, so I have found myself sitting awake in front of the TV at 2 in the morning quite a bit. After about 1 in the morning, TV starts to get really, really bad. After 2 in the morning, though, TV gets so fucking retarded in late night, it's almost impossible to watch.

Have you ever watched a full episode of Undressed, that late-night MTV show? I have become addicted to that show, but it's not because I enjoy watching it - I actually hate the show. Honestly, I can't begin to explain just how much I hate it.

The characters are totally one-dimensional. Every girl on the show is the stereotypical cocksucking nympho, and every guy on the show is either gay, a big pussy, or a wannabe stud. If I see one more guy kiss another guy, I'll puke my fucking guts out. It's not that I have a problem with gay people, but it can be really repulsive to watch two 16 year old boys making out. Call me politically incorrect if you want, but it disgusts me.

Plus, the acting on the show is miserable. The women on that show need to just give up acting and turn to the porn industry, because that's where their future is. They must have blown Kurt Loder (several times) to get the job. Don't get me wrong, though, the guys are just as bad - and they probably had to blow Loder too. In fact, I think most of the guys are even worse actors than the women. There's nothing more embarrassing than watching a teenage guy dress up in his girlfriend's panties just to get laid. And we wonder why so many men in our society feel emasculated? It's shit like that. The actors on that show can't show emotion, either. I saw one episode where the kid was supposed to be happy, but it just looked like he was constipated. The dumb bastard couldn't even act happy. Stick to the Sunny Delight commercials, you little bitches.

The scriptwriters for that show must suffer from a serious case of Downs Syndrome. Seriously, they might never win an Emmy for their writing, but if the Special Olympics ever gives out a gold medal for retarded fiction-writers, the writers of Undressed deserve to win it. Anybody could write an episode of Undressed. Here, I'll write a script right now:

Sara is upset that her boyfriend, Eric, is having an affair with her sister, Trish. Sara gets revenge on Eric by sleeping with his brother, Doug. Instead of getting upset, though, Eric just suggests that they all get together and have a foursome. The show ends with all four kids having unprotected sex in their dorm room.

Does that sound entertaining to you? Like most of MTV's programs, that show is just an hour-long cocktease. MTV has the balls to air a show that's all about sex, but they don't have the balls to actually show the sex - they'd rather just cut the cameras away at the appropriate time. Then, whenever the media issues a new study about the increase of underage mothers and minors with HIV, MTV can make themselves feel better by doing a "safe sex" special with "seasoned journalist" Kurt Loder. Those dumbasses don't have a clue. If I turn on MTV and see Kurt Loder talking about safe sex, it just makes me want to go out and fuck some chick without a condom. Kurt Loder's a fucking nerd - everybody knows that.

Anyway, that's all the time I have for this week's rant. If you want to share your opinion of MTV's Undressed with me, send me an e-mail. If you want to send me an e-mail to call me a total asshole, go for it. I really don't give a shit.

See you soon.