• I just watched a special about Sisqo and his music on MTV, and I've come to one conclusion about him - he's a little bitch. It showed him on the set of his latest shitty video, dancing around with a bunch of low-rent strippers, making a total ass out of himself. The most pathetic thing, though, was that whenever they'd cut to interview snippets with him, he actually seemed to be taking himself seriously! This is a guy whose only popular song is about friggin' thongs, and he acted like he was Martin fucking Scorsese when he was talking about the direction of his video! And like all true R&B stars, he had an entourage of Neanderthal hangers-on with him; guys too stupid to realize they look like cavemen.
As far as the actual finished video went, here's a really big surprise - it sucked ass. It's just Crisco doing a bunch of flips and badly choreographed dancing, while hot chicks stare at him like they want to fuck him. Sorry, dude, but you look like a fucking troll. The sooner you realize that, the better.
• Speaking of sexually-charged music, you know who I want to fuck? Those chicks from Dream! I can't stand any of their crappy music, and I wouldn't want to date any of 'em, but I'd be willing to cut off my left pinky toe in exchange for a night of passion with any of those broads. That Latin one is a hot piece of ass! If you're reading this and you happen to be a member of Dream, go ahead and send me an e-mail at IWantToHaveUnprotectedSex@BobFreemanShow.com!
I might not have any money and yeah, I do still live with my parents, but I promise to always leave the air conditioner on while we bump uglies in the back of my '84 Thunderbird. You can't beat that with a stick!
• I've been receiving a lot of letters from people telling me that I'm a dead-ringer for Shane McMahon, son of the WWF's Vince McMahon. I personally don't see the resemblance, but I've gotten over six e-mails about it in the span of a week. Somebody even had the nerve to call me a Shane wannabe. Friggin' asshole.
• I went to Big Tone's graduation ceremony over the weekend. In case you didn't know, Tone is actually one of the most intelligent members of the BobFreemanShow.com cast. He graduated with a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering from San Jose State. Yes, that's right - the man who electrocuted himself with a bug zapper on this week's program is also an electrical engineer. Irony, ladies and gentlemen. Nevertheless, congratulations are definitely in order for Big Tone.
At the ceremony, when they announced his name and he walked onstage to receive his degree, Reverend Rave and I jumped up and begin screaming "BIG TONE!" at the top of our lungs. Everybody else in the arena was being quiet and respectful, and here we were, shouting and pumping our fists like it was a friggin' football game. I haven't had so much fun in years.
Until next time,
