First of all, let's face the facts - the Baby Boomers raised us wrong. Not my parents specifically, because they've done a great job and have been married for 25 years - but almost all my friends come from broken families. The Baby Boomers created the highest divorce rate in the history of mankind. The same hippies who spouted off all that idealistic bullshit about love and happiness were the first generation to fail miserably at both. These same "flower children" who protested the Vietnam War and burned their bras went on to become coffee store owners and corporate leaders in Silicon Valley. They turned out to be a generation of total hypocrites, so what right did they have to shake their heads in shame when our generation rioted at Woodstock '99?

I thought it was funny when the kids started those fires at Woodstock, because the media kept interviewing people who had attended the original Woodstock, and the people were always so ashamed that my generation would tarnish the "proud Woodstock name" like they did. Sorry, folks, but the original Woodstock didn't have $8.99 burritos and $5.99 bottled waters, and I don't remember seeing Janis Joplin singing in front of a MasterCard logo. The Baby Boomers are the ones who organized Woodstock '99, yet these are the same people who broke through the barricades at the original Woodstock. Now that they're in charge, though, they just jacked up the prices and put up higher fences, and they can't understand why that seems a little hypocritcal? It's a different world now, and until the Baby Boomers realize that they made us who we are, we're just gonna keep on pissing on tradition. My generation didn't have a Vietnam and some pretentious cause to fight for, so why the hell should we care about their traditions? Fuck Woodstock, fuck the hippies, and fuck their traditions.

The Baby Boomers were right there to cheer when Nixon left the White House, but take a look at what happened when a Boomer got into office. Bill Clinton will be remembered as the guy who stuck a cigar up an intern and got head when he was talking to Congress on the phone - that's his entire claim to fame. The Baby Boomers were supposed to fix everything that their parents had broken, and what did the arrogant bastards do? They fucked it up even more. 14-year-old girls say they give their boyfriends blowjobs because "the president said it's not sex," and now our parents wonder why patriotism is dead? It's not that hard to figure out.

The Baby Boomer activists who complain about teenage violence are the same people who produce the most violent movies in Hollywood. And sure, they all disapprove of offensive lyrics in music, but they'll gladly book Jay Z for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards if it means a few more dollars in their yuppie pockets.

In closing, I'd just like to say that I realize my own generation is no better. Every generation of kids is worse than the one before, obviously. I'd just like the Baby Boomers to start taking a little responsiblity for their own mistakes. Generation Y is fucked up, that's for sure - but there's a reason we're like this.